Nothing Catches You By Surprise

Dear Lord;

Today I'm thankful that you are my Abba Father in heaven, Jehovah El Roi ("God of Seeing"). You are seated above us and in full view of everything that happens here on earth. Nothing escapes your vision! You are sovereign, having supreme rank, power, and authority over all. You answer to no one. You are the utmost, the extreme being above all others in character, importance, excellence, and wisdom. This gives me the greatest security I could ever dream possible – to know this unshakable truth about who you are and that you will never change. Even greater than this is the assurance that I (a mere worm) can boldly come into your presence, the holy of holies, in Jesus’ name make my petitions known and find intimacy with you as my Abba Father. I can talk to you about ANYTHING, because you’re already aware of EVERYTHING. NOTHING escapes your watchful eye! NOTHING!!! There is nothing that catches you by surprise.

On that day two and a half years ago you knew that my grandson was going to have surgery to remove the mass of cancer in his abdomen. You knew who the surgeons were going to be that day and even knew who the anesthesiologists were, along with their resume of exactly what deficits each of them had in dealing with this type of pediatric surgery. We were oblivious to all the negatives, but we trusted your watchful eye completely. I’ve come to know your nature and your Word that says, "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Therefore, I have to believe that the tragic events of that day grieved your heart even more than it has repeatedly grieved mine.

Yet through this entire catastrophe my heart tells me that this happened to my grandson for our ultimate good, for those of us who love you. You are a good God and although the enemy tries to disprove your goodness every way he can with his evil plots, he cannot and never will be able to remove this immovable truth from my heart. I trust you with blind faith! Blind because quite frankly my physical eyes fail to fully see anything good as a result of all of this … yet. Forgive me Lord, for my lack of vision. The magnitude of my grandson’s injuries and our loss of the sweet toddler we knew grandly distort my vision to the extent that all I can presently see is pain. The colored glasses which I look through in this life show me tremendous heartache, now having to live with a brain injury and a totally foreign life to the plans and dreams we had for this precious grandson of ours. The conflict continues day after day, the relentless struggle to lift my eyes to you and behold the greater purpose that you have for our good and my grandson’s good.

As I weep and grieve and cry out to you daily now for 2 and a half years for relief from this awful pain, I can’t even begin to imagine greater depths of pain, and still I know chasmic proportions exist. My pain compared with yours is as, rather than "a drop in a bucket" more like "a drop in the ocean." My suffering or my grandson’s does not even stack up against yours! This truth causes me to bow low in humble gratitude for your precious gift of salvation painfully purchased by your Son dying on the Cross of Calvary to take my place. It’s only through darkness that we can appreciate the light, and only through injustice that we can value justice. Just as it is only through a storm that we passionately pursue the ensuing and unfailing peaceful calm, so it is only through intense, unimaginable pain that I can seize upon a vague measure of the magnanimous price you paid to secure our eternal life.

So I thank you today, Heavenly Father, that while there are times when I’m kicking and screaming here below wrestling for perspective into your higher purpose, it is in your presence that I come to accept the security that you offer me through faith. Talking to you just empowers me to continue on with quiet trust, resolved that you know best. I’m confident that you are there, reassuring me as my Father in heaven, above it all, and yet completely aware of this child … your child’s pain. Just as I experience this sorrow because my grandson is my own flesh and blood, you also share in this suffering in greater measure because we are your very own creation and purchased by your own blood. You are working together with those of us who love you to bring about what is good for eternity’s sake … to spare us from that unthinkable eternal pain of separation from you. I can’t begin to thank you enough for all that you have done, are doing, and are going to do.

I hope you have a wonderful Father’s Day! I love you … eternally!

Love,

Your daughter